nothing is ever simple

I fully admit - occasionally I look at my kid and am jealous of the simplicity of his life. The moment passes quickly, though, because I know it isn't simple to him. When you're in second grade, the teacher getting frustrated with you, or your fighting with your "BFF" over who really was first in line is a really big deal.

It's just to this 36 year old, who's had a weird day, decade, whatever - I long for the simplicity over fighting over who was first in line - because I just don't care.

I'm in an introspective mood, with a bit of pity party thrown in for good measure. I feel like there is a lot weighing on my mind. What else is new, really, right?

I have a good friend, someone who'd do just about anything for me, about whom I'm worried - very worried - who is unreachable, so I sit here thinking I should do more, and knowing there isn't a damn thing I can do except maybe be the same friend I've been for the last 2 decades.

I spent Friday night giggling with friends and watching an undercurrent of gossip turn bits of that really fun time into nastyness. It reminded me again of how mean we women can be to each other - although I don't really understand why. Jealousy? Boredom? Some inherent meanness that we use as a defense mechanism? I don't know. Geez I wish I did - that would be some powerful armor I could wear to fight it.

I also saw my shrink tonight for the first time in 2 months. That always gets me thinking.

So no worries. I'm ok, I promise. My sarcastic self will likely be back tomorrow, especially if I get my suddenly seemed to gain 3 lbs ass to the gym. I saw unitard man there last time - looking forward to that again tomorrow...err...not.

I'll close with a nice little song I found tonight. I love Mindy Smith - a recent discovery thanks to Pandora...and this is one of her most lovely songs. The lyrics are beautiful, too - so I've included them as well. I think all of us have been in this position at least once - and for some of us, maybe it's a recurring theme.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_jG2SXlkpU

Mindy Smith, One Moment More Lyrics


Mindy Smith, One Moment More Lyrics

Hold me
Even though I know you're leaving
And show me
All the reasons you would stay
It's just enough to feel your breath on mine
To warm my soul and ease my mind
You've go to hold me and show me love
Give me
Just one part of you to cling to
And keep me
Everywhere you are
It's just enough to steal my heart and run
And fade out with the falling sun
Oh, please don't go
Let me have you just one moment more
Oh, all I need
All I want is just one moment more
You've got to hold me and keep me
Tell me that someday you'll be returning
And maybe
Maybe I'll believe
It's just enough to see a shooting star
To know you're never really far
It's just enough to see a shooting star
To know you're never really gone
Oh, please don't go
Let me have you just one moment more
Oh, all I need
All I want is just one moment more
Oh, please don't go
Let me have you just one moment more
Oh, all I need
All I want is just one moment more
You've got to hold me and maybe I'll believe
So hold me
Even though I know you're leaving