social networking fail

Over the last 18 months, the social networking site on which I have an account has been a bit of a mixed blessing.

In some ways, it's been great for reuniting me with people I haven't spoken to in a couple of decades.  It allows me to connect with friends I've made online in a more "in real life" way.   I can share pictures of my son and our vacations and such with family and friends who live far away.  I like that idea, that I can share a little slice of my life with people important to me.

That is, until it backfires.

In the last 18 months, I've found out inadvertently / indirectly / accidentally that I am being, at least in a manner of speaking, stalked on said site.  In both instances, it was very unexpected (is it really ever expected?!?!) and disconcerting. 

In one instance, I found out almost entirely by accident and was pissed because the person was using my status updates to essentially ridicule me behind my back to a - at the time - mutual friend of ours.  I felt totally violated by this person (and to an extent I was disappointed by my friend who should have told me much sooner than actually occurred) and immediately the person was defriended. by me.  This person has since, because we have mutual friends, decided it would be fun to make snide comments to my comments on mutual friends' status updates.  I have asked this person repeatedly to leave me alone, but I guess harassing someone she doesn't really know all that well makes her feel better about herself.  Lucky me.

In the second instance, the situation is a bit more complex.  I found out when I was essentially told directly what was on in a most matter of fact sort of way.  While I have a major issue with the way this person is behaving (representing my material as theirs), the person who told me does not.  My defriending this person would result in major drama in which I would become the bad guy.  And in my current emotional state, I'm not entirely sure I'm ready to deal.

To add further insult to injury, I recently discovered that I have been defriended by people who I thought were friends, because of a misunderstanding.  It's very hurtful especially because this occurred without any conversation with me.  I know it shouldn't matter - but it does.  I'm sensitive to a fault, and the people who did this know that.  Or I thought they did.  Maybe they just don't care.

My conclusion is that it may be time for me to go on hiatus from that site, at least for a while.  I'm tempted to actually deactivate my account, but with my 20th high school reunion in the early planning phases, and me being one of the leaders of that project, deactivation is probably impractical. 

But maybe I split the difference and just don't log on for a long while.  I'm tired of feeling like a pariah or being ridiculed or misrepresented.  I'm tired of feeling like when I open the door to share my life with people, they shove the door open, push me out of the way, and try to take my life on as their own - through the use of other people's accounts or in taking advantage of my relationship with other people.

The reality is, I have a lot of complicated crap going on in my life and I can't continue to feel like a punching bag anywhere.

And maybe - this is this control freak's way of grabbing control of a piece of her life that's very quickly spiriling into a giant mess.