I was having a deep and meaningful conversation with one of my very closest friends today about music. We were talking about music and I said something that apparently is perplexing to everyone but me. ;-) I said that I have problems with songs that I really like, that really tickle a spot in my brain and get me humming along from moment one. It's just a certain type of song that does this to me. At first it's fun - it gets stuck in my head and keeps me company all day long. Then it's annoying, because I find myself singing it all day long and it just won't go away. Then, if it really reaches the apex of badness - I can't even hear the first note to it on the radio without wanting to rip my ears off. LOL. Needless to say, this opinion didn't resonate with my friend, who apparently likes when songs get stuck in his head but nevertheless...hopefully I got my point across. ;-)
Oh yeah - the song in question was "Mary", from the new Kings of Leon song. I really liked the 50s style of the song when I first heard the album. I was listening to it today, though, and wouldn't you know it - the damn song is now stuck in my head and pissing me off. That may be its kiss of death - we'll see. It hasn't been relegated to "Life is a Highway" status - yet. Geez, even typing the title of THAT song irritates me.
In other news, my sister's wedding is D-O-N-E! She and her new husband are enjoying a rainy vacation in a faraway land and the days of panicked emails regarding the orange and brown candy bar or how many pumpkins are needed for the front porch of the inn. We don't have to worry about the crisis d'jour will be the morning of the wedding (averted nicely due to the large number of medical professionals attending the wedding). PHEW! If I'm so relieved it's over, I'm sure M and T are even moreso!
It was a beautiful wedding on a beautiful, albeit it (very) chilly fall day in NJ. Congrats to them and may their marriage be significantly less drama-filled than mine is. GAH!
In other drama-related news, fall soccer is almost over. The parent/kid game is Saturday. Apparently I'll be playing. Does no one realize that there are many MANY reasons why I ran track and cross country as a kid, not the least of which is my rampant clumsiness?!?! Let's hope I don't injury myself in any way - Gregg's endless injuries and resulting surgeries are definitely sufficient.
Wow, bored yet?
I'd love to wax philosophical but I think I'm too damn exhausted. I feel like I'm on a treadmill and can't get off - which would be great in a way because I haven't been in the gym in about 2.5 months. What a freakin' slacker!!
I guess all is ok in my world. I am in another bit of a pickle career-wise. I am currently being courted by my former boss and a former peer for a job at another company. I've basically been hand-picked for this position and they're waiting for me.
Sounds great, right?
Uhm...of course nothing is simple.
First and foremost - the job is a 50-55 min commute for me. If I were childless, that wouldn't be a big deal, after all, I did a 45 min commute for almost 8 years. But I have a kid, a kid I don't see all that much as it is. that just feels....far.
And second - and I hate to write this down for fear of sounding like a bitch - but I'd be working for my former peer. She and I were peers for 2 years up until I left that job for my current job (about 3.5 yrs ago). Now I'd be working for her. I guess that resonates with me and prickles me because it reminds me of the frustrations I have in my current position. Not to toot my own horn, but I'm damn good at my job. I lack confidence in many areas of my life but I know I'm good at what I do. Two years ago, I was assured a leadership role "just as soon" as they could implement it. Yet here we sit, 2 years later, and I have the same damn title I did then. Oh I have gotten some fuzzy and definitely unofficial extra responsibilities for sure - but with ZERO power. So people know I'm a leader but when a decision needs to be made, I can't do a fucking thing.
So I guess the idea of having this former peer as a boss just reminds me that I am in this quagmire.
The good news is it's got me moving a little bit. My boss is currently out on disability. We are trying to hire 3 new people - we've selected one but need to pick the 2 others. This responsbility is being shared by 3 of us, but one of ladies involved is, well, bossy, and our manager left her to sort of 'champion' this. FREAKIN' FABULOUS. Bossy, of course, is being territorial and talking to the VP (our boss's boss) without us - so we get all the info 2nd hand. After interviewing several people, she delivered the bomb that the 2 remaining slots are both temps. Uhm...helpful information we needed a while ago!! Then she doesn't agree with us on what type of person we should hire, and we don't have clear direction.
The other person helping with the hiring is really more on the periphery. She recommended someone before this whole temp thing came up - a friend and an internal candidate - and now she feels fucked over, so she's stepped mostly out. But I've asked to meet with Bossy and the VP and I kept getting shut out.
Well screw that. I reached out to the VP last night. I told her I was trying to understand where we were headed and I had some ideas I'd like to run by her. I indicated I wasn't trying to go behind Bossy's back but that when I'd asked to be involved, I'd be shut out and now I wasn't clear on what the path was.
She emailed me back and said she'd call -hopefully she does. I"m proud of myself for speaking up. I need to take control of my career. No one is going to do it for me - this VP has said she's looking out for me, she's told everyone in my reporting chain she has "plans" for me - yet I've seen none of that. Enough already. I can contribute more - not by getting more work (something I seem to be good at) but by doing something different, by leading, by effecting organizational change. I need someone to take a chance on me.
Hence my dilemma.
Gregg thinks I should apply for that job anyway. I would feel like a dick because the reality is, unless they made me an AMAZING offer, I couldn't do.
Shit.
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