shell

I stand in the shadows
A quiet voice
A careful observer
A strong supporter
No matter the reaction
I've watched and waited
As you've become a shell.

Your strength has waivered
Your spirit has been broken
Yet somehow
You plod along
And think that this
Is somehow acceptable.

You deserve it.
You've done wrong
So kick you, kick you, kick you
Hurt you
Remind you of all your faults.
Are you so broken that this
Is how you view yourself?

How have you become this shell?
This hollow remainder
Of the vibrant person you once were?
I know that glow is hidden
Inside those shell walls.

You are amazing
You are special and talented
Smart, funny, and well-intentioned
You are important and valued
And you can be loved
And give that same in return.

Your heart yearns to love
And to be loved
To care
And do the right thing.
But instead
Because of your past
You sit still
And take your bitter medicine
To you, that's all there is
Or will be.

Your shell should be filled.
Look around you.
Check those halls
Those dark shadows off to the side.
The people who linger there
Are the people who value you most.
They will guide you
Shine a light into the darkness
That has enveloped you.
They will show you the way.

Save yourself
Embrace the person you truly are
Not the person you think you should be.
Your misguided sense of filling a role
And accomplishing something so important to you
Has driven you to lose
Who you are, what you truly want
And most importantly - who you could be.

Before those people in the shadows
Give up on loving you
Because it's been so long since you could see
Let their light shine upon you
Let their love set you free.
Embrace the reality that you are loved
That you can be loved
That you deserve love.

When that love comes
When you let it in.
You will be freed.
You will be you, finally, again.
The rest will fall into place
And all that angst, all that sadness
The self-loathing and pain
Will disappear.