I'm going to just pose a question here.
Do you think that, if a person goes through a monumental change in personality, it's just because life has slapped her in the face and she's reacting to it? Or do you think it's more granular, more dangerous than that? Do you think that she's trying to escape from something by changing how she behaves to live in the life she thinks she shlould be in?
I know it sounds like I'm talking about me. I'm not. I am talking about someone I know, and this radical personality change is now 5-ish years old. But the longer it remains entrenched, the more troublesome it seems to me - the more I wonder if the person I once knew will ever come back. It's sad to think that this is all for hiding from a reality that's standing right there.
I need to think on this one more but, right now, today especially, it's making me sad, it's making me hurt.
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Totally unrelated...
Hubby is back on a writing kick. (He won't blog. He thinks this is one of my more "fanciful" hobbies.) He's dragged "Strunk and White" back out. And when he writes, he needs a special notebook. The man has more notebooks of varying shapes and sizes than anyone I know. So tonight, he brings out the notebook he'll be writing in this go-round.
It's a notebook from college. And it's EMPTY.
I told him it must have been his notebook. I wouldn't have bought a spiral notebook (I loved and needed my binders and college ruled looseleaf paper) and, if I had, it sure as hell wouldn't be empty.
He laughed. Funny how his slacker ways are still present all these later - along with my dorky, overstudious, try-too-hard ways. Hmm...but me trying too hard is a subject I need to address in a separate blog. Just not tonight - my toes aches, I'm anticipating backlash from my lack of sports bra, and I'm dog tired.
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