Tickles and Dreams

There was something about you
You were always there
Tickling the back of my head
And the edges of my heart
And yet, that was all
It was an unanswered and unrecognized blip
I could feel it and yet
I could push it aside just as easily.

And yet, even with all that ignoring
And pretending it wasn't happening
Or I was losing my mind
Or I was letting romance crush all logic
The tickling..the lingering wonder
I could not get it to difuse itself
I couldn't squirm away from that tickle.

Instead, you entered my dreams
You were not a constant visitor
You were not even predictably there
But when you visited
It was everything, all encompassing
Everywhere
I wanted the dream to endure, live on
Waking up felt like a curse not a blessing.

No matter - my quest to ignore endured.
You were unattainable, unreachable, out of bounds.
I was losing my mind
There was nothing there between us
Only some overgrown school girl's unfounded fantasy
And maybe, just maybe, a little wistfullness as well.

But I was wrong
And I was blindsided when I discovered
Just how wrong I was.
It was just idle Tuesday - or was it Monday?
And there it was - this simple little dream
That little tickle I thought I was imagining
Was always there - even if it had been so very subtle
I'd felt it
Because you wanted me to.