bathrooms, football and loopholes

I have Sunday dread so my goal is to channel my nervous energy through a hopefully moderately coherent blog entry. Please wish me luck.

I decided for reasons unbeknownst to anyone but me to deep clean our bathrooms today. I know why - cleaning the bathroom, while utterly disgusting, is incredibly satistifying to me. There is nothing better than standing back and looking at your gleaming, fresh-smelling bathroom after scouring the hell out of it. Of course, I have 3 bathrooms in my house so, while this idea always seems like a good one from the get-go, by the time I'm done, I'm ready to kick my own ass for my sheer stupidity.

The bathrooms were in a true state of disarray today because frankly I can't tell you the last time I did a deep cleaning. Oh I wipe the surfaces down - NO NO ONE ELSE DOES - regularly but the deep cleaning is a much more infrequent thing.

How these bathrooms get so disgusting when there are only 3 of us, Hubby and I work full time, G is in school full time, and we are in activity hell is beyond me but frankly, I think it's mostly because males are slobs. Oh Hubby is "neat" - this translates into him being very good at shoving his clutter into closed spaces or his office (which is scary). But he thinks bathrooms should be filthy. For those you who know him, please feel free to challenge him on this theory. We have lived together for (oh GOD) almost 14 years and he has NEVER cleaned a bathroom. Very frustrating.

It took a good hour and 15 minutes but I proclaimed victory. Of course, in true familial fashion, the boys had dirtied 2 of the 3 of them within 15 minutes of my completion. Classic.

After doing my household chores I decided it was time to sit on my lazy toosh with the football game on and a knitting project on my lap. The problem? Well I have 2 working knitting projects - THE SOCK and a purse that I started about 3 months ago. Don't get me wrong, I banged out about 10 rows on THE SOCK - i.e. 1/3 of an inch. It's just so SLOW.

And I made the mistake of spending a bunch of time on the Lion Brand website - so I have a bunch of new projects I want to start. The problem? Oh I broke 2 of my circulars this weekend. In my defense, because I wasn't initially sure I could figure out knitting in round (which is actually very easy), I bought super-cheap circulars off of eBay. LOL. So last night I did go to KnitPicks.com (COOL SITE!!) and picked up a really nice set. Now I can't wait to get them.

Tomorrow at work I must must must slack off for 10 minutes and print off said project ideas!

Anyway, enough of THAT rambling.

My day is now winding down. My extra-clever, always thinking 7 year old tried to get me with yet another loophole today. I was explaining his cleverness to some of my online mom friends the other day.

*** Side note. On 2 of my mom groups, I am one of the more "seasoned" moms. For some reason I do not understand, this has lead the less experienced moms to the conclusion that I have a friggin clue what I'm doing. I don't have the heart to tell them that I am just as clueless as they are, my kid is just older. But for some reason, they respect my insights and history with my kid, hence my getting into these situations where I dispense advice. Gee I hope I'm not steering them the wrong way. Perhaps I should put a disclaimer in my BBC signature.

You know I love you, Moms, and am totally happy to help. I just promise you everything I know I learned by screwing up the first 100 times.

So we are watching football and G is putting together a Star Wars Lego set, complete with droids. At one point I hear "pwew pwew pwew" and see him pointing his gun-wielding droid at the TV. Now, I am not the type of parent to say "no guns", but he KNOWS we don't point guns at people - live or on TV -and pretend to shoot them. Given that, the exchange goes something like this:

Me: "G, don't shoot at people - real or pretend. This includes the football players on TV. You know that."

G: "MOM.....I'm not shooting them. This is a taser."

Cue dumbfounded Mom music. Pause.

Me: "New rule in this house. No shooting OR tasering people - real or fake, including those on TV. Got it?"

G: "Yes Mom. Sorry Mom."

Damn kid. A TASER? Where the hell did he learn about tasers????

I am so screwed. He's 7 and he's smarter than I am. What the hell am I going to do when he's 12?!?!?!?

I lost my parenting manual and now I'm losing my mind. He knows he's got a leg up on me.

And somehow I am qualified to dispense parenting advice? Oh BOY.