...and I'm not sure what to do with it.
As I elluded to in the last few posts - hell, probably in most of my posts - I'm having a bit of a crisis. Right now, it's come to a bit of a head, and I'm having a really rough time.
The thing is, this crisis is the result of basically my entire adulthood and, at the very least, the last decade of my life. During that time, I've had a very weird, somewhat coincidental and yet simultaneously star-crossed series of events occur in my life. Some have ultimately been under my control, but others have not.
They are all in my head and in my heart - and some of them are screaming and making me crazy.
The thing is, I've been reading a LOT lately. I read a lot anyway, but lately, it's been a good distraction. Plus, my someday maybe never sister-in-law gave me a bag of books at Christmas. And in reading, I realized something - something obvious but that struck me. A lot of books I really enjoy, and others seem to enjoy, don't have any special hook. Their just stories - stories you can relate to or understand or somehow parallel your own lives.
So I'm wondering, thinking, considering - writing a little fictionalized version of the last decade of my life.
A lot of people have complimented me on my writing, especially recently. I wonder if I could do it.
I wonder if doing it could clear my head and clarify how I feel and who I am, and rid me of a bit of this overwhelming and crushing angst.
I need something to help with that. Even therapy is only taking the edge off - and then barely.
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